Intercepted: The Malfoy Chronicles
by 2.5 Hours
Summary: After that fateful night in HBP on top of the Astronomy Tower, the Malfoy family, and those closest to them, must learn to live with the consequences of their actions. The correspondance between them shows that even seemingly unattainable Gods can fall.
1. Narcissa

Bella, you cannot turn me down, not you, not now!

My darling sister, mentor, guide, you MUST save him! He is my little boy, dearest, the air I breathe, the pillar and cornerstone of my existence. I know how you feel about him, how you feel about my husband, and I know too that after all you have endured you are entitled to that disdain. But my darling sister, mother, saviour... help me save my son!

The Dark Lord will not listen to Lucius, and I don't honestly believe Lucius will even try. He loves Draco as dearly as I do, but he has never been and never will be the martyr for a lost cause. I cannot ask Severus to interfere on Draco's behalf, I do not know where to find him, and he has already done so much. But you, you my guardian angel, are still of some importance to Him. Shunned as you feel, sister, it is clear He has, at least, cleared you of blame. You alone were spared the wrath He has delivered on the others. I thank Merlin He has yet to implement some continuous form of punishment. Somehow, if remotely, you are still within His favoured, and I ask, no, I beg you to interfere on Draco's behalf.

My only child, Bella, the incarnation of Lucius' love for me, my pride and joy, my reason to live... if you cannot bear the thought of saving him, then I beg of you, sister, to save me!

I have never asked you for anything, and it tears at me to turn to you now that you too are vulnerable. But dearest, if Draco... if Draco dies, I die with him. My child is everything, Bella: my flesh, my blood, my soul, heart and joy. No dementor could wreak the havoc in me that losing him would. So save me, sister dear, take my son to safety.

Desperately, Cissy.


	2. Draco

Love.

Life.

Soul.

I was so glad you weren't there to see, last night. Feeling your eyes on me would have killed me. I couldn't have loved you anymore if you had seen my punishment. How could I love you if I knew you could never love me after seeing me thus degraded. No, I was happy you weren't there.

After everything I did for them, after helping them inside the castle, after returning to them even when I had failed my task and nothing but punishment could have waited for me...After all that I still supposed that I had deserved some sort of praise, some sort of help. All I got was aching bones and a broken sense of pride.

Yet I knew that not returning was never an option. They had you and my family and I was not going to make anyone else take the fall for my own mistakes. And yet, I know I expected help from my family for my return. I expected them to want to keep me safe from harm as I had done them by returning.

My faith in family...I don't think it can be restored, love.

Those eyes! Those red, burning eyes! They never left me. Not when He called me forward, not when the circle of black cloaks closed around me, not as He himself raised his wand. I remember that, for the first time, I felt my own eyes plead. Never had I felt so naked, so humiliated.

I _begged_, my love. Can you see how low I sank? To save myself, I begged like the little lapdog I apparentally am inside. But of course He didn't listen, nor had I really expected Him to. But the humiliation of hearing my voice scream, admitting to the pain, I could not have borne you seeing me like that.

I wanted to die, love. I wanted the pain to be over for ever, never to feel the gaze of everyone there on me as if I were nothing more than dirt on their shoes again.

I remember looking at my father, desperate to find a way for it to end. He didn't even look me in the face. The cowardly bastard averted his eyes, not giving me the light of day. I am his son! He should have, could have, done _something._ I am his son!

Through my own screams I couldn't hear, but I saw my aunt stepping away from the circle. Why, I don't know, but after that the pain stopped. I think it was no longer interesting to watch me squirm, because they left...They just walked away as if nothing had happened. Even He didn't look at me as He passed.

I couldn't get up from the floor, my body just resisted. But when I finally raised my head, I saw my aunt, standing there as if she had waited for me to get up, but she wouldn't even look at me.

Family isn't all that important, love. Trust only me as I trust only you. Family betrays.

_You deserved to die, you know you did,_ she said to me. If family means so little, I'll not have anything to do with them anymore. As long as you are there, I won't need anyone else. Certainly not my family.

You deserved to die, you know you did. But it would have broken my sister and I will not allow dirt like you to be the cause of that.

I don't need any of them. Not my father or aunt and not that greasy Halfblood who 'heroically' stepped in to do what I could not.

All I want is to be where you are, my love. But even that can't be. The Dark Lord has sent me away to make ammends for my mistakes. I will have to do to others what others have done to me. The mere thought of having to listen to, no, to be the cause of screams that I uttered too...If I could, I would walk away, but I know this is my last chance. And with His faith I would lose all access to you. To lose you is more than I could ever take.

So please, love. Trust no one, no one but me. Keep safe, and keep me in your thoughts. Don't let them come too near, don't let them weave you into their web like they did me. Keep safe.

Yours,

D.


	3. Severus

Draco,

You must not write to me again. I cannot be the one you confide in, it's too dangerous. If the Dark Lord wants to know something about one of us, he will go to the other and no one can deceive him for long, not even me.

You must realise how lucky you are. If I, and later your aunt, hadn't stepped in, you would be dead right now. But you still walk around with your head up high and look at others with superiority like before. Have you forgotten what you've done? You've failed Him, Draco! No one fails the Dark Lord without punishment and you got off lightly.

Keep that in mind the next time you open your mouth around Him, because no one's going to step in to save you again. Don't forget the Malfoys no longer have that privileged position you are used to. And the only way to get it back is to be trustworthy.

I am _telling_ you to be the good boy your mother believes you to be. You cannot run away from this and, Draco, you must watch when those Muggles are squirming on the floor. _He'll_ want you to watch and enjoy it and He will know when you have looked away from your own handywork.

You came to me for help about this task, but all I will say again is: Do not write to me a second time. I offered you help with your last task and you didn't want it, afraid that I wanted to 'steal your glory'. In the end, I did because you couldn't pull through.

But this time I won't have anything to do with it. Like you said before: It's your job, he gave it to you and you're doing it.

Good luck, Draco. It's time you really do fight for your own glory. I hope for your sake you enjoy it.

Snape.


	4. Bellatrix

My sister deserves better than the likes of you, and you damned well know it. The only way you could ever have been of any use to her was if you had kept the hell away, as you were told to, time and time again. Cissy had the world at her feet, her beauty opening gates to the sheltered and happy life she deserved.

And you stripped it from her with one selfish proposal. You knew she craved romance and passion, and unable to give it to her you romanticised the strict orders you received to stay away from her. You twisted our attempts to give her the world into the dramatic background for your own Shakespearean oeuvre. She was no prisoner at her family's whim, no Juliet, and you the last to fill Romeo's shoes, and yet you convinced her to elope, to run hard and fast from the only safety the world had to offer her.

I should have killed you when I had the chance.

The simplest of duelling techniques had you at my wand's end, needing no more than a Crucio to finish you off. You were not even worth the Killing Curse those days. It's taken you twenty long years of training, of well deserved punishment under His Lordship to teach you some endurance. And had Rodolphus not intervened that night, you never would have had that chance; a chance you did not deserve to begin with.

He is as guilty as you are, may his soul burn in the deepest pits in hell for that, among so many other things. Without his intervention, I would never have spared you, and my father would never have taken you under his wing, forgiven your ultimate betrayal and stopped the hunt on your head. Father knew better than to marry his daughters into your family and it would not surprise me if you bought his late approval. The only thing Malfoys have that outweighs the reputation of cowardice, rather than any honour you, your forefathers and your breed may claim to have, is money. Rodolphus had a sole redeeming feature, his undying loyalty to the dark Lord, but your kind, no, galleons is all it comes down to.

And not even those are enough to save your spawn's life, are they? Your influence on the Ministry was the only value you held for the Dark Lord, and without that value… well, you owe me your son's pathetic, worthless life. And no, I didn't do it out of any protective feelings towards that piece of filth; I didn't do it to spite you. I did it for my sister. Deep down, even she knew you were too cowardly to protect your own flesh and blood!

You disgust me, Malfoy, but for now I'll see to it you and your spawn live. Cissy would break without you, and I will not see her turned into an empty shell. The calculated balance between flattery, command and threat with which you dominated your relationship has tamed my sister's spirit, leaving but a bitter ghost of it behind. And bitterness does not become her. In fact, it's sending her straight down a path of desperate dementia. My sister is not strong enough to survive the havoc you men seem determined to wreak in our lives, but I, I am strong enough for us both. Mark my words, if you hurt her again, I will ensure it becomes your own downfall.

Consider yourself warned, scum. Fail again, hurt or scare my sister just one more time, and set my revenge loose on your head. If not in this life, then when we meet in fiery pits of Hell. I'm watching your every move.

Bellatrix Black


	5. Narcissa's Advice

Dear Pansy,

Although I believe you to be too young to be driven by the sole thought of marriage, your mother has informed me that you are wearing yourself away, pining for my son. As tradition would have it, this marks your passage into my family, and this first letter is sent as your future mother-in-law, with advice and experiences to guide your way.

Let me start by giving you a warning. Word has it you refuse to continue your schooling. I hereby inform you that, should you chose to do so, this engagement will be called off in a heartbeat. I will not tolerate my son to be married to someone wholly uneducated. I myself have no more than my Hogwarts title, but by a limit in options rather than choice. If you turn down the opportunity of education before fulfilling even the very basics you lack the ambition and drive that characterise the Malfoy family. When your mother and I were taken in marriage, a life outside these stately manors was out of the question, yet the one thing I enforced upon Lucius when our son was born was that Draco's own wife was not to lead the same life as I. So I strongly suggest you make up your mind, child, for, much as I care for you, if you do not meet the standard to marry my son I will not hesitate in interfering. One day, with children of your own, you will see why.

By now I am sure you have heard of my opinion regarding your engagement to Draco. I wish to make it clear that my disapproval has neither to do with you, nor your evident love for my son. I share a close bond with your mother and have no objections whatsoever to having you as a daughter. My objection to your betrothal is born from the fact that I see what your father and my husband overlooked when they settled the engagement. Seen through men's eyes, in terms of politics and finances, there are only gains to be found; but from a mother's eyes, it is cruelty to push a girl so young and unprepared into this particular little world…

While marriage is a balance of routine, passion and compromise for the average woman, I am afraid the world you find yourself in is far harsher. With the sole exception of my sister Bellatrix, wives of the Dark Lord's followers stand in the background, playing an essential yet unacknowledged role.

Our men, like any soldiers, deserve a carefree, loving environment to return to after a wearying task, where even their slightest whim is fulfilled. It is our job to ensure this, to receive them with open arms and a seemingly genuine smile. No matter the state we fare in ourselves, it is our duty to ensure they are comfortable and, if only for a while, happy.

As you may begin to see, this will not always be easy. This separation so quickly imposed between you and my son may give you an idea of the years to come, and yet, you cannot even begin to fathom the havoc it wreaks. Next time your father is away, watch your mother closely, this alone should give you an idea. Her half void- half injured eyes will constantly jump to steal a glance at the clock, she herself will be nervous and jumpy. And when he returns, pay attention of the immediate change in her demeanour, the nonchalance with which she rules over her household, and the subtle flattery she showers him in. If I know your mother, she has never shed more than a single tear upon his return, never allowed him to comfort her, scare her fears away. She knows better. Watch your mother closely, Pansy, and learn, for it will be your place soon enough, and if you cannot act like her, you are bound to lose my son's interest, or worse, his respect.

Under my guidance, Draco has come to understand and respect a woman's vulnerabilities far more than Lucius ever will or even deems necessary. Yet I did not raise him to be eternally patient to weakness. Much as he denies it, Draco mirrors his father, and in his right as a Malfoy, he is critical and demanding; I would have it no other way.

Let it be clear that if you cannot even conceive of enduring a pain he will never know of and never soothe, then you are not the right woman for him.

Finally, I want to clarify one last thing for you. Your mother tells me you have written Draco often and desperately, and that my son has yet to respond in more than a single line. I understand why it upsets you, child, but I also ask you to stop fretting about it. Malfoy men are raised to protect those they love, and particularly the last two in the line have taken this lesson to heart. In the beginning, a silence can mean either indifference or utter love, and it is up to you to discover the difference. Until my son develops utter trust in you, which may take a lifetime, or he finds he cannot take the heaviness of his own heart, do not expect great declarations, neither of love nor of grief.

Now, it is possibly to nudge him in the right direction, yes; Merlin knows that's what I did with his father. This, however, requires a complete dominance of the art of subtlety and manipulation, which I am afraid is not an attribute taught to young girls these days. The skills do come with time, as married life becomes more and more about avoiding petty routine fights (and getting your way if they do occur), but I'm afraid that is of no use to you now. All I can recommend, if you want his answers, is to give him space. Draco has never had someone to confide in, being an only child within a rather hierarchically distributed family. All my love and devotion were not enough to shelter him from the harsh reality we live in and he only knows competition and betrayal; the more you pry, the less trust he will have in you. He will judge you according to what he has seen in his own house, according to the standards his father and I have set. There is no room here for desperate pleas and letters. If I raised my son to be half the man I think him to be, then the one thing he will not tolerate, not even in his own wife, is weakness.

So, dear child, I ask you to consider all this deeply and act accordingly. Your response or lack thereof to the advice in this letter will be your first step within this family, and not only shall Lucius and I be judging your performance, but my son will also be forming an unconscious image of you in his mind. And let me reassure you, if the image is not to his satisfaction, he _will_ act accordingly, as befitting a Malfoy.

Affectionately,

N. Malfoy


	6. Pansy

Draco darling,

Oh, my love. You have no idea how much I yearn for your return. Every second that passes is like years of torture to me, being parted from you like this. My heart pains every time I see the hand on the clock move only one step forward. I miss you so! But, thankfully I know that I am not alone in this. The knowledge that you feel the same pain as I do is enough comfort for me to hold on. We'll be reunited soon, my love, and then I will finally be able to kiss all your pain and tears away, just like a wife taking care of her husband, just as it is supposed to be.

But the world is not only filled with misery, darling, because I have such wonderful news to tell you, such wonderful news for us! Perhaps it would be better for me to wait with telling you this until you've come home, but I can't contain my extasy any longer! Your mother has finally written to me! Her words were so sweet and welcoming, I can tell she has no _real _objections to our marriage at alljust some triffeling matters, and she has embraced me to the bossom of the family already, as her new daughter. Nothing can come between us now.

Oh, this waiting is inhuman! Why did He send you away from me, why were you sent from my reach? I want nothing but to feel your arms around me, to cradle you in mine. It won't be for much longer, will it, darling?

I do wish you'd tell me more about what you're doing out there. I want to be able to share everything with you, especially your pain. I know that I can make you hurt less. Just confide in me, my love, you'll feel better if you share. Your mother said so too. And she explained to me why your replies to my letters are always so short. She told me how you Malfoy men show love.

_In the beginning, a silence can mean either indifference or utter love_, she wrote. I thought it was a bit harsh of her to put it like that. It sounded as if she didn't have much faith in us at all. I won't appreciate her talking to me like that once we are married, be sure to tell her that. Because what else could it _be_ but utter love? I knew you loved me from the moment we were first introduced, for I felt it too then. I don't need you to say it, or to spell it out. I can feel it is so.

I can't help but smile now. If your mother were to read this she would reprimand me terribly, but I don't care. She told me not to write my feelings down like this, for you to read and know. I can't possibly understand why I shouldn't. I'm starting to feel like she only pretends to approve of us. Why else would she want me to write to you less? Why else would she try to come between us like that? She said it was because that's how your father was with her, she compared you to him. But that's so wrong of her, as if she doesn't know her own son at all! You are much more accepting than he is, so I know you'll accept my open longing for you. Is she trying to stop me from loving you? Because I know I won't have to hide my feelings from you. I believe hiding how you feel withing a marriage is wrong and this is, after all, a more modern society we now live in than what your parents are used to. Your mother worries too much, darling. We are simply a new generation.

But she did encourage me to seek your attention more, to be part of your life as she is of your father's. You are like him after all. Just as distant when you're unsure of how to express yourself. But you don't have to worry about scaring me when you talk about what you must do. I am prepared to hear everything you go through. You mustn't feel this protective of me, darling, just because I'm a little young. I want nothing more than to feel like I've been through everything together with you. That way, you'll never be alone and you'll never have to suffer on your own. I'll take good care of you!

There is just one little matter that needs to be settled before we can be joined together forever, before I can become that wife who takes care of you. Your mother thinks it's important that I, unlike what she did in her time, continue my learning. If I do so, I'll be the opposite of her, while I know that I can only make you happy by being exactly like her, as you are like your father. She compared you to him herself. And in doing so she also compares me to her so I find her request that I continue my schooling hypocritical. I never dreamed of calling your mother that, my love, but if she is serious about this then I have no other choice. Luckily, I've known her long enough to know that she is of good and sound character, most certainly not hypoctritical. So I know that this can only be a test. She wants to know whether I would do anything in order to be yours. You _know_ I will, darling. Doesn't that prove that I'd be a good wife? I'll be there for you, always, in the background. Learning would only make me smarter than I needed to be, because all I'll need to know is how to please you. It would be a waste of time, money and effort. All of which could be better spent devoted to our wedding preparations. What dress to wear, what cake to order, which guests to invite...After all, all that learning would only get in my way and it would only be a show for the outside world.

Death Eater wives are known for their support to their husbands. I look at your mother and mine for examples to follow and I know I can be just like them. Your mother just worries too much, my love. She's afraid we might be too young. I suppose that's why she's so insistant on me continuing my studies before we are wed. But didn't she, her sister and my mother marry straight after Hogwarts too? And how could I attend to your needs when homework calls me away? Again I begin to wonder whether this is not an attempt at coming between us. Doesn't she approve of me? Why can't she just let us love each other the way we do?

No, you must convince her it's all for the best if we marry as soon as you return. Perhaps she just doesn't understand how important this is for us and how much this means to me. I suppose she underestimates how long this has been my dream; to be part of you and of the Malfoy family. But there's no need to worry. She'll think of it no more when she has grandchildren to look after.

So I ask of you, my darling, to write to your mother and to convince her that it is _your_ wish to marry as soon as possible. She'll understand and accept it immediately if it comes from your hand. She has never been able to deny you anything before and I know you are just as eager as I am.

I, of course, have already sent her a letter of grattitude, thanking her for her advice and telling her that I am devoted to meeting the standards she has set for your wife-to-be. I want to show her my willingness to comply, so that's why it is better when you are the one to push her into favouring an as short as possible engagement period. So do write to her about this matter, darling. This way we can seem willing and yet we can have it our way in the end!

And please, send me a letter back, my darling. Send me something that allows me to share in your pain and in your hardships. I'm constantly praying for you to return soon, like I know you are too.

With all my heart, love and soul,  
and for all eternity,

your Pansy


	7. Draco's Plea

My love, my life, my light in this dark place,

I love you _so_, yet somehow it seems wrong to call you those names. Not because of you, no! You are everything to me. But a letter I received today reminded me of the position I am in, the iron-clad, bitter reality. You know the position my parents put me in since I was ten years old and you know that I care nothing for that girl. I know it, and I know that you know and that mine and her parents know it too, but her? No, she just can't understand that! No matter how hurtful or distant my replies to her incessant and overwhelming letters, she seems to find no better occupation than insisting that I love her the way she loves me.

Love her indeed. She drives me crazy. She fawns over me using annoying, seemingly fake and incredibly obnoxious pet names. And in this last letter, she moved from obnoxious to downright offensive. She's actually thick enough to complain to me about my mother! If any woman other than you has been patient with me, and caring and loving, it's been my mother. It infuriates me that Pansy had the sheer _nerve_ to ask me to tell my mother to back off! My mother is the only person that would understand what we have, that would defend it, and no one, not even you, my love, could drive me to push her away.

I shouldn't care about what Pansy says; I don't even know why I read her letters. I should probably just burn them straight away. But all I can think of when I do read them is what a horrible fate awaits me upon my return, the fate of becoming _her_ husband when all I want to be is yours. I wish there was something I could do to change my future. To do something to break off the engagement so I can be with you when I want to, not having to look over my shoulder to make sure we're alone, not having to whisper in case someone should hear. I want to hold you so badly, love. I know I'm not alone out here, but it does feel that way. There is no one here I can talk to, no one. They don't understand how my task is eating away at my conscience. None of them care that what they're doing is inhuman.

Those people, those Muggles...I know they're not our kind, not the right sort. I know there's no proper place for them in this world. But to kill every one you come across, just because they happen to pass you in the street...And I wish it were even that easy! Even though it feels so wrong to kill pointlessly, it's even more horrible than that, more than I can describe. It's not just a wave and an Avada Kedavra, it's so much more. Merlin, it's so much more. I can still hear their screams. Every night when I go to bed I hear them and see their faces floating in front of my closed eyes. The agony in their eyes, the fear and the pain...I see myself in them, my love. When they tremble on the floor, shaking, their eyes looking up at me pleadingly, begging me to stop it, to end it, I see myself in their place every time. I see myself looking up at a wand, begging for my life like I did that night.

I see myself like I saw Him then, and I even feel what they feel with them. But I keep looking. If I turned my head away, even just once, He would know. And that's not why He sent me out here. Merlin, those screams don't go away! _I don't want this anymore!_ I can't! I can't keep this up! Every night I shake in my bed. I need your arms to calm me down. I imagine you whispering my name soothingly so I can sleep. But those screams, piercing and wild...

I wonder whether He felt the same when he tortured me… Of course not. He's done so much more than use the Cruciatus Curse. He won't lie awake because of something so menial.

Am I nothing more than them that I had to suffer the same torture that He is ordering me to force upon them? No, I'm probably even less. I'm just a device He uses. I recognise myself in those Muggles, as being the one on the floor, squirming and pleading for it to end. And yet other times I feel like _Him_, powerful and cold. Those are the nights when I can sleep.

But I'm neither of them today. I'm floating in between and I don't know which way to go. I'm no one. I'm nothing. Yet those screams prevent me from thinking of you, of peace. I know I shouldn't, but I pray for this war to end. I don't care whether we win or lose, I just want it to end. Because all these months that I've been away, all these five months, the feeling of pain that I felt the night He tortured me has never left me.

I need you so badly to keep me who I am. I need you to help me remember who I was when I said goodbye to you, because I'm changing even though I don't want to. And with my own changes, the image, my picture of you, is fading. I can't remember what colour your eyes are...I think, brown. But I'm not sure anymore. Nothing is sure anymore. Your voice has changed, too. I keep trying to hear it, focus on our goodbye to recall the sound. But every time I think about it, I remember how we had to kiss goodbye in secret.

I don't want this anymore! I want to be able to hold your hand, to kiss you without it being wrong! I want to love you without having to worry. And our goodbye...it was tainted by my worries. I tainted the last moment we had together because I couldn't get a grip. I'm sorry, my love. I'm sorry.

But those words you said then, I try to hear them the way you said them, to remember your voice...It's like trying to make a puzzle when you've only got a single top-corner piece.

How much longer will I be kept here? It's like a prison, love. That's why I don't care if we lose. It can't get any worse anyway. My bars are His eyes, the way he looked at me that night. My walls are those echoing screams...I'm constantly guarded by my fellow men here, as if I'm their prey for a later day. But I know I can take it as long as is needed. I know I can toughen up. And I force myself to. When I face those muggles I am almost disgusted that I need to spend my time on them. I need to complete this task so He knows my capabilities. I _know_ I can do better jobs than this. The Dark Lord also knows this. That's why I think that this task is not just punishment for my failure. Perhaps this is training, preperations for something grander.

He has no one at his side close enough to fully trust anymore. She may not want to see it herself, but everyone knows that my aunt has failed Him too much to hold on to the position she once managed to earn herself. And now that she has had to keep to the background more, there's a gap that needs to be filled. My future will be grand, love, because I, as my aunt's nephew, _should_ be the one to replace her. It's the only right way for this to go from here. And with me, your future will be grand too. And to make sure that I accomplish what I _know_ is to be my destiny, I can do anything they tell me to. So when I look at those trembling Muggles, I find myself caring less and less. I just think of the future and with it, my feelings fade. I can't afford to let them get to me, so they don't. Not anymore.

But the thought that keeps me happy is that you've managed to stay free of all this, that your father cares enough about his daughter to keep her out of his own business. I've spent so many nights awake, thinking about escaping and coming home to you. I would take you with me, to a place where no one could find us. Because this place is a prison and I need to get away if I want to keep my sanity. Then again, home is no longer a safe haven either. At least, it will be as much of a prison as this place is once Pansy manages to wrestle a ring onto my finger... The whole world has become a cage, hasn't it? I've truly come to believe we can't be us or ourselves anywhere. I'm steps from giving up.

So please keep hope for the both of us, my love. I need you to stay strong for me and for us. I depend on your strength of heart now, for I have almost none of my own left. Love me the way I love you, my dearest. It is the thread that keeps me hanging on.

D.


	8. Draco Ordains

Father,

I call you by that name, only because we share the same genes and blood, not out of any warm feelings I might be supposed to cherish for you. It's common knowledge that the part of a caring father was never meant for you to play. I thought you knew that as well as I did.

Neither of us are in need of each others aid, no matter what the situation. I therefore do not appreciate that you are trying to tell me what to do now that I have finally outgrown the family mansion and the charades of perfection that come with it.

I realise only too well that it was guilt towards my mother that made you write to me, it couldn't have been concern, otherwise you would have shown that the night that I was humiliated. But then again, taking the years I spent under your parentage at home into account, I wouldn't have expected any concern from you anyway. Nor do I think that concern for your only child is one of the more encouraged and respected emotions one can display in our circles.

But I would like to remind you that, though your letter was soaked with false and manufactured worries and emotions, it is because of you that I am where and what I am now.

The choice that you made for yourself all those years ago has affected my future perhaps even more than your own, but my guess is that you didn't or couldn't realise that at the time. My path was to be your path from the day I was born your son. I was to follow you and your footsteps to a succesful and glorious life. At least that's what must have gone through your mind when your decision was first made.

But I want you to know that I hate the fact that there was no free choice for me to make, no course I could pick myself for my own life because your choice automatically became my choice. And no choice, made by one man, should affect another as much as yours has and I hate you even more for it.

So, simply put, whatever happens to me in my life, may it be painful or pleasurable, it all started the day you sided with the Dark Lord. Should I be killed, my death will stain your hands because you know that it is _your_ decision that marks my every move in life.

But I suppose I'm not being entirely fair now. I blame you for so much when I forget that there is one thing I must thank you for. If it hadn't been for your coldness towards me in my youth and for the times when I longed only to be acknowledged as worthy by you, I wouldn't have been able to become the coldhearted man I am today. It was your inability to see me as something to love that has enabled me to switch off my emotions at certain times.

So I thank you for my rotten childhood, it made me a Malfoy like no other.

But this is where my gratitude ends. I have no desire for you to meddle in my life because I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself and those I love, as I have proven since your first absence. The way I see it, you lost your right to act like a father towards me the day you got dragged off to Azkaban and, personally, I think you lost the right to be my mother's husband that day too but that is not for me to decide.

I will accept your presence in her life at least, because I know it means her happiness. But break her heart again and we'll just have to see which of us is more powerful than the other.

I won't write to you again, nor will I expect a reply to this. I believe I have been clear enough on my wishes and feelings. I have been here, in this place, for more than half a year now and I am doing my job the way the Dark Lord ordered it to be done. I will grow and come out of this war still standing strong with the ones important to me safe because I know how to addapt. I hope the same goes for you, though again only for my mother's sake. I don't need you.

Do not contact me again.

Draco.


	9. Lucius

Narcissa,

May this be the last time you have the manor charmed against me. I tolerate it this once merely because it is the first time, but I warn you now that I will not allow you to run from every conflict we have. What happened to the woman who stormed into crucial meetings if something did not suit her? What happened to the spirit that would not be quelled yet did not resort to melodramatic antics to get her way? And when did you decide there was nothing in this marriage worth upholding? When did you decide that the union we preserved unharmed for 20 years was to be nothing but a façade?! A façade I am grateful you decided to maintain, but a façade nonetheless. Much as I appreciate your concerns to keep this out of public knowledge and to ensure I lack nothing, my darling wife, I'd rather you open the door and face up to what you said to me last night, to the venom you've been harbouring so long.

Frankly, I do not know what you'd have me do! You know well that I cannot refuse His Lordship's requests. What's more you know that I would not refuse them even if I could, simply because they are requests, and that is an honour above all others. Long ago I ceded my life and powers to the better wizard to see my ideals fulfilled, and nothing has changed today to make me step back on such a vow. You say I'm nothing but a pawn to him and that only a coward would willingly grant another man control over his life. I must admit those are words I never expected to hear from you when year after year you claimed to see even humility in this action. On the day I first swore my allegiance to him, I told you that I would see his vision, my ideals, realised and that if it claimed my life or death in the process, so be it. I shall leave behind a better world or my son and his children if it kills me. And you've known all along that it might. So I cannot begin to conceive why now, when the opportunity to succeed has finally returned, you would ask me to renounce it all!

For more than a decade I bowed my head down and let the world pass me by. I did what little I could to uphold my ideals while trying to rebuild our reputation and ensure my family's wellbeing, but all of it was without hope of fulfilment. And that you of all people would claim that renouncing the Dark Lord was something I did merely for myself, Narcissa, is actually outright betrayal. You who asked me, no, who _begged_ me to deny my involvement; you, who cried gratefully when they released me; you, who became my solace in the imprisonment of the false life that followed if only to repay me for what you'd done, _you_ dare accuse me of having done it all for myself! I will admit that Azkaban was not in my direct plans, but had I acted solely for myself, our life would not have been what it has been to date. The unlimited power of money that you know so well, Mrs. Malfoy, had provided me other opportunities, far more subtle, more discrete; an arrangement to leave the country had already been set up, and the trial was a mere formality. A mere formality that found itself interrupted and steered into a completely different direction when I say little Draco, so fragile and vulnerable in your arms, and the fear you were so bravely trying to conceal. I chose there and then not to leave your side, or to tear you from your roots. Leaving Britain would have broken your heart, and that made me sacrifice pride and dignity to obtain freedom another way. So don't you dare berate me for making the choices I made, when they gave us more than twelve years of relative peace by each other's side, and with our beloved son!

But in our son lies perhaps the only shred of truth I could find in your words last night. I have made countless mistakes by him, probably more than I am willing to admit. I raised him as my father raised me, acknowledging only the man he would become and overlooking the boy he actually was. I broke the vow I'd made to you and to myself, to be a different man than my father was; for that, I apologise, to you if not yet to him. I compensated with gifts what I could not give in affection, but drove him to associate my approval only with his success. And, at the very top of my crimes against him, I put his life on the same path as mine without stopping to consider what it would entail.

Not until the night he failed on his task did I realise the damage I had inflicted. When I first spoke with him about his mission, fear flickered in his eyes for only a second before he steeled them again, and instead of intervening, I allowed myself to be deluded by a sense of pride. He knew better than to show weakness, and was willing to sacrifice his life for the cause. I failed to see that he was merely a boy, that no sixteen-year-old deserves to have such pressure on his shoulders. All I saw was a window of great opportunity for my son, and the slim chance of restoring the family pride. Having lost my respectable place in society, the only value I was able to build up for the Dark Lord, His choosing my son to carry out such a task seemed an honour instead of punishment. And so, when Draco turned to me for help, I deferred to better advisors and pushed him towards self-sufficiency; not even "keep safe" managed to escape my lips. Now more than ever, darling, your pleas and warnings ring through my head as signs I failed to interpret, that haunt my dreams, only drowning out by the memory of his screams. Day after day, I am haunted by regret of not having intervened that night, of not having stopped the Dark Lord from taking his misplaced revenge on the body of an innocent. On the body of my only child. And day after day I berate myself for having lost my position, the only leverage that would have been of any worth to Draco that night. Had I intervened as I was, chances are our Lord would have killed Draco on the spot, and I trust you know by now that I care too much for my son to let any harm come to him knowingly. Had you wanted such reckless valour, Narcissa, you ought to have followed that Black streak in you, got burnt off the tapestry and married a Gryffindor. I know you will never be grateful for how I've acted these past years, nor happy about my lack of action the night our son got hurt. But because I did nothing he is still alive and practically unharmed. Furthermore, he is not lost, was not reduced to a hollow shell, uncapable of love. If anything, that can be seen in his fervent protectiveness of you.

So stop spewing your sister's venomous words at me. They are nothing short of arsenic and I'll not stand for it any longer. Henceforth, Bellatrix Lestrange, née Black, is banned from Malfoy Manor. I would also prefer it if you did not go chasing after her, thought if you must I will not stop you. Just believe me darling, when I say this is in your best interest. She has turned you into a puppet, following her will instead of your own. And I can see it draining you of the spirit you once had, the spirit I fell in love with. Now I'm willing to forgive your spiteful words, and I'll even admit that I'm partially to blame, but when I come home tonight, those doors had better be open.

Deep down, dearest, you know I am right, and that I act only out of love for you.

Looking forward to returning home,

Lucius


	10. Draco's Advice

Love,

The days I must spend away from you are coming to an end. Soon the Dark Lord will allow me to go home. And though I am happy to leave this place, I must admit that it feels strange too. After having spent almost a year here, it has become so familiar to me. I can hardly call it homely, but it _is_ a part of me now, after all the things I did and after all the days endured here. The thought that I should stay did occur to me.

If I prove my eagerness, I will be able to rise in our ranks, giving you a more stable postition too. Think of all the credit we would earn with the Dark Lord. And the power that comes with that credit can perhaps even be enough to ensure our safety all the way through to the end, without us having to worry about when the war is over, one way or another.

Because I do realise that, however horrible my father was as a parent, he _did_ ensure that my mother and I lacked nothing in my youthful years, not even his presence. _He_ ensured us a happy future too. That, I am thankful for.

Of course, this doesn't mean that I will accept him back into my life, nor will I strive to follow his example. But this mission did make me see why he did what he did all those years ago. In any case, to avoid his meddling in our future life, we will need to find a place to live he can't reach easily. There's no need for him to know more than he needs to.

My mother did find out about us, though I don't know how. But she has approved of us and is willing to even lend us a helping hand when we need one. And we can rest assured that she won't tell my father or anyone else unless we give permission, we can trust her in that.

Besides, now that she does know and approves, you shouldn't feel hesitant in asking her advice. I would be quite happy if you'd let her help you arrange our wedding. I know that she would be thrilled. And apart from that, I believe the wedding is all that you should keep yourself occupied with at the moment.

That way, everything will be ready when I return home. I trust you completely in organising everything, after all, weddings are more the area of expertise of women. Men would only get in the way and we know and accept that you women are better at it anyway.

And this gives you the opportunity to arrange everything according to your taste, though I must ask you not to forget my mother's advice in this. She must have been planning a day like this ever since I was born. And it would probably be wise to keep it small too, we don't want to attract unnecessary attention to us. If all goes well, we'll be able to keep it a secret from the public that you are my wife. All this is, of course, because I am concerned about your safety. I wouldn't be able to bear it if anything happens to you. You are, after all, the only one I can imagine having at my side.

So start organising our union to your heart's content so that we can be married the instant I return. I know that the day you become my wife will be our most important memory for the rest of our lives. Just wait a little longer for me while I conclude my business here. I'll come home as soon as I know I can. Like I said, I'll stay behind a day or two to put in a little extra effort for our future's sake. But what's a day compared to the year we have spent apart.

Yearning for your embrace, I remain yours,

forever,

Draco.


	11. A wife's wavering love

My beloved Lucius,

What has happened to us, my darling? When did this infernal gap between us grow so deep that you would leave without even a note on my bedside table? I still remember the days when you would wake me for a last kiss, so tragic and sweet I still feel each and every one burning on my lips. There was a time when you told me you were leaving days in advance, gave me time to adjust to the idea of your absence, to lavish you until the minute you left the door. But those days have gone far beyond our reach haven't they, dearest? Gone are the days when even the worst of fights could be settled between the sheets. Lost is the time where you took strength from me, instead of viewing me as the single weakness in your scheme.

Everything between us has drowned in a deadly silence; denial laced with civility and above all that damned sense of decorum. I can barely believe the spectacle we've become, our façade seeping into our very core and taking control. Even you have come to see me as the ideal accessory; a shining gem to show off on social occasions and to discard into the corner of forgetfulness once its role is fulfilled. I feel like the furniture in this cold manor, Lucius, unacknowledged until it's broken...

And even then, all I can get out of you is a brief flash of lightning in your eyes, the sight of your retreating back and vicious recriminations on parchment. Intolerant, impatient, melodramatic, weak, unstable, cold; how the accusations fly! I, cold to you, Mr. Malfoy? I, who have crashed and burned countless times trying to break through that layer of ice? A layer that, might I add, has only thickened with the return of that v- of that man! _His Lordship_ has a way of bringing out the very worst in you, Lucius, and deny it as you might, we both know that is the truth. As the mark on your arm burned anew you were coated by layer of ice and venom that would make a basilisk proud. His return alone was enough for your permanent and immediate conversion to that man of stone he so favours.

Perhaps if I had reacted differently on the night of his return you might not have shut me out so completely, but I simply could not stand your euphoria. The mark burned and you acted as if possessed. The same conviction burned through you as it did all those years ago and you overlooked something which to this day you have still not seen: we have aged, Lucius, and changed. We could not be the same driven youngsters we once were even if we wanted to. Our priorities have changed by now, or rather, they ought to have. You thought as far as to "protect" me, ordering me to stay home, but your task as Head of Family ranged somewhat further than that, and you ignored that blatant fact. You are right when you say I may never forgive you for what you did to this family, to my son, because we ought to have been more important to you than your cold, heartless _Master_. I warned you that night that he would let things escalate beyond any control and I begged you to keep Draco out of danger. I begged, Lucius, and you found my pleas for your own son's safety fit to be scoffed at. But what you then wrote off as a paranoid delusion now seems like accurate divination, doesn't it? The Dark Lord wrote you off as a mere pawn when you failed to please him, and he let us suffer the repercussions. He turned his back on his most faithful of servants in a surge of anger and destroyed all that was in his reach, including my son's innocence.

For all he means to you, darling, I do not- can not- see your master in the glory that you do. He has great ideals, yes, but a man so destructive can not possibly fight only with a noble intention. True, he wants a pure and powerful wizarding world, but he wants to be at the head of it- almighty and uncontested. I do not see how a man so cold and heartless could lead an entire society rather than his group of fierce warriors. A society is made of families, Lucius, the ones you and every single one of your successful friends have been hiding and neglecting, and I fail to see how the wizarding world will thrive in the world you seek to create. But as your wife I turn to my love and trust in you and hope that you see what I cannot, and that my fears are unfounded. You see, you may see having a heart as a weakness, and you may even be right, but it is what makes us human and it is the only thing that keeps me close to you. If cold, calculating, Slytherin reasoning came into this, my dearest husband, I would have run for the hills by now. So be grateful that I have an ounce of passion left, that Black streak as you call it, and that I am still willing to fight for this marriage.

It is for the sake of this marriage, for instance, that I bow down to your order and turn my sister out of my house. But you have no idea the pain you cause me by ordering me to do so, and you cannot expect me to cease contact with her completely. Bella may have, as you say, been poisoning me, relieving her frustrations through me, but if only for my sake, you shouldn't be so quick to judge her. Bellatrix is cold and harsh, yes, and she holds you in the deepest of contempt, but she is the only one who has never failed to be there for me. Even when my marriage to you seemed to wound and infuriate her, she never ceased to try and see me happy. She saved my son that night, and for that alone you should be willing to overcome all differences... but of what use is arguing when you have made up your mind? Just remember that she is also the only insight I have into the workings of your brain. You two hate each other because you are alike: calculating, ambitious and powerful but fiercely protective of those you love. With Andromeda lost, I am all she has left of a home we once loved, of a protected and happy childhood, and if she is wary of you it is because she will not see me hurt the way she has been in the past. Some say my sister thrives off her hatred for men, and while I do not believe this is so, she would be more than justified if she did. Rodolphus Lestrange was the worst possible match my father could ever have found my sister and he ought to count his blessings that neither she nor I find him worthy enough of our anger to deal with him as we ought to. He resents her talent, her ferocity, and would have had her cooped up in the house had the Dark Lord not sensed her power. And it was the Dark Lord who broke beneath the ice she built up, who kindled a passionate flame, and who broke and twisted her to fit into his scheme. It was her desperate idea to find him, her desperate attempt that landed them in Azkaban, and to have lost His respect after all she did for him is driving her to the edge of despair. But the key difference between the two of you, Lucius, is that she really is torn between her devotion to the Dark Lord and her loyalty to what remains of her family. Rodolphus could die by her side and she wouldn't even flinch, but she saved Draco to see me happy, and I never saw her so absent as she was when Regulus died. I can only imagine that even when she killed treacherous little Sirius grief must have flickered through her eyes, if only for an instant. You wouldn't understand it, but those boys were made of more than treason once, and they form part of memories we both treasure deeply. And treason as this may sound to you, Lucius, I hope upon hope that she never finds Andie, it would destroy them both. Bella, knowing that only a fraction of a doubt would stop her hand, would destroy Andie without a second's hesitation and it would break her. And without that last tie to my kin, Lucius, I would die. So next time you intend to justify your anger by blaming my family, remember you are in debt with me; I have given up what means the most to me to satisfy your whim.

And for the sake of our family I will talk to Draco and try to bridge the gap between you. This I do gladly, I would do it no matter the state of affairs between us. It hurts me to see either of you suffer. But you have to give him time, dearest; you have hurt him more than your father was ever capable of hurting you. From the very moment Draco came into our lives, I have given my all to make this a family; I have never wanted more than to give my son a warm home. And by denying him a childhood, by moulding my little boy to meet your unattainable standards, you have thwarted me every step of the way. Yet he is, as you say, a man now, independent and strong. In his exile, my boy has grown and formed his own life, and circle of allegiances, and he has begun to lay the grounds for a family of his own. To my delight, and unknown to you, he broke off his engagement with Pansy for another girl and he wishes to marry her upon return. But that his greatest desire is to keep it all as far away from you as he can, my darling, should be irrefutable proof of the damage done to our family. What I need from you, then, is to acknowledge and respect the man he has become, for you to treat him as your equal… to treat him the way you seemingly can't be bothered to treat me.

I am not quite sure what it is you, my sister and Draco have come to believe, but I am not starved for protection and comfort. I am not made of glass, nor am I a puppet, a mindless Inferi, under Imperious, and least of all a rag doll to be thrown around! You cannot just pull strings and expect me to dance to a rhythm of your making. Of anyone's making. I am perfectly capable of making up my own mind, making decisions that concern far more than the duties of a perfect hostess. I once stood right next to you in that elite circle of power, Lucius, and I forbid you to forget that. Yes, I forbid! I, Narcissa Malfoy, Mistress of Malfoy Manor, forbid you to keep underestimating me. The tone in your last letter dated from my father's age, Lucius, could have come directly out of his mouth. Clearly you do not even consider me worthy of controlling my own household. You are to be lord of your manor, are you not? King of your castle... But I remind you, Lucius, that Malfoy Manor is my home as well as yours. If I as much as get the whim to lock you out, I am entitled to do so. You forget that, when you married me, we remained equals. You forget that I have the documents you signed to ensure it. Ironic, isn't it? What to me started as mere jest has ended up as the only insurance I have of your respect.

I think that I am nearing despair as well, Lucius, and it is you who is driving me there. I love you more than you can fathom, and I hate the idea of losing you to death or to indifference, but I cannot keep giving and giving and giving without getting anything in return. You worry and you love me, I know, but I can't uphold this relationship by myself, and much less based only on the remnants of an old feeling. I can uphold a façade, be the perfect, docile wife, but unless you remind me why I love you in the first place, I cannot offer you a warm home once behind closed doors. And I want to offer you that, darling, I want to desperately. I want that passion we once had. I want to discuss problems when they arise, not through a letter, two months later. I want to be your companion again, at your side, in everyday life if not in the Death Eater's circle. And I want to laugh with you again, as if we were young and desperately in love. I hope upon hope that it's still possible.

Counting the days to your return,

Narcissa


	12. Mr Malfoy: Full Circle

My darling wife,

Even though our position is as safe as it could ever be, it is not within my power to refuse the Dark Lord. You know I would not want it any other way. Though I left you asleep in the bed alone this morning, feeling regret about having to leave, you of all people should be able to understand the pride that glowed inside me too.

Never before has a task been a request instead of an order. This proves He has faith in me more than in anyone else. I can't tell you where I'm going, nor what I'll be doing, but I assure you that it's all in our best interest if I go.

My whole life my mother and father have protected me, trying to keep me from the dangers of service. But even though I know it was for my own good, they have unconciously made my thirst to know what's out there even bigger. And now, having tasted the thrill of adventure, I crave to go out there for more. I realise now that it's not just a way to stay alive, it's a way of living. And I've discovered that it might just be the only way of living suitable for me.

I realise now it was selfish to drag you down this path with me, but I trust you'll find it endurable. Should you at any point need help or even just a friend, you are always welcome at my mother's house. She knows what it's like to be married to a Malfoy and will be able to help you through even the most difficult of times.

I know that this must feel like abandonement to you. You made it perfectly clear last night that it didn't agree with you that I felt relieved at being sent off again. And your comment on history repeating; my leaving you behind as my father did my mother, was, I felt, uncalled for. But perhaps I should accept that there is some truth in your words. Perhaps you were right when you said I am becoming more like my father every day. I do feel like I'm becoming him without wanting or trying. But perhaps this change was inevitable from the beginning. I am, after all, his son.

And as his son, it is my duty to stay faithful to our Lord and to the ideals I was brought up with. And the only way for me to do so is by doing what is requested, or even expected of me. So once again, we will have to settle for writing letters. It might not be what we had in mind, but there's nothing else for it.

Because I'm not to tell you where I'll be, send your letters to my mother. She, as a loving parent and loyal friend, will see to it that I get them as soon as possible. Please don't try to find me yourself, it would cause more problems than you could imagine.

I don't know when I'll be back.

Your loving husband,

Draco

* * *

Fin


End file.
